Chat Log of the Spork Debate

TL;DR: Sporks are stupid and so is anyone who thinks otherwise


Created At:
3 years ago

By FireLordZuko [Administrator] At 3 years ago Report Reply 0

Tbh you gotta hold the spoon and fork by it’s handle. With a spork, you don’t really have a handle; you only have the other utensil you’re eating with, which incidentally touches your hand so you might as well eat with your hands.

IMO you’re right on this regard, Lemur. I think sporks are awful too. :P

By Geeki_Play At 3 years ago Report Reply 0

You make me sick.

A spork consists of only a spoon-shaped eating utensil with short tines at the tip. Your entire comment consists of spoon-forks. Almost every «spork» utensil i see on here is actually a spoon-fork. The fact that this post is about sporks and you posted THAT comment is nothing short of utter blasphemy. Let me start out by saying I have nothing against spoon-forks, I just hate their association with sporks that are not spoon-forks. Adding a knife to your fork? It’s called a knife-fork. Totally different. Want to add spoons and some pretentious scissors with chopsticks? I don’t know what the hell you’d call that but it’s not a spork. I would be more than willing to wager I’ve used more sporks in my 18 years than any of you had in your entire lives. I use one almost everyday and sometimes more than just one spork. Want to personalize your spork? Get it engraved or made of a unique material. But if you want to separate the spoon and fork on different ends and talk about it, make your own post entitled «spoon-forks» because that is not a f***ing spork. I’m not a religious man nor am I anything close to a culinary expert. But as a bland white mid-western male I am honestly the most passionate person when it comes to sporks. All of you foodies stay the hell away from our sporks and stop associating your spoon-forks with them. Yet again, it is utter blasphemy and it rocks me to the core of my pale being. Sh*t, I stopped lurking after 3 years and made this account for the sole purpose of posting this. I’ve seen post after post of peoples «sporks» all over the internet and it’s been driving me insane. The moment i saw this post this morning I finally snapped. Hell, I may even start my own post just because I know this one exists now. You god damn heretics. Respect the spork and stop changing it into whatever you like and love it for it what it is. Or make your damn spoon-fork hybrid and call it for what it is. A piece of sh*t.

By forkspork123 At 3 years ago Report Reply 0


By FireLordZuko [Administrator] At 3 years ago Report Reply 0

What the spork did you just sporking say about me, you little sir? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Spoon&Fork Academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Spork College, and I have over 300 confirmed dinners. I am trained in utensil warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire Utensil Federal Ops. You are nothing to me but just another dish. I will wipe you the spork out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my sporking words. You think you can get away with saying that spoon to me over the Internet? Think again, sporker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spaghetti across the United Spoon&Fork Association and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, sir. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your sporks. You’re sporking dead, Geeki. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my console power. Not only am I extensively trained in typing skill, but I have access to the entire arsenal of dank memes and I will use it to its full extent to melt steel beams, you little sir. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your sporking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you godblessed angel. I will spoon fork all over you and you will drown in it. You’re sporking alive, sir.